Talk to Your Partner About Sex
Talking about sex is difficult for most people, not just teenagers, but adults who have been in long term relationships for many years. However, open, honest communication about sex is important for everyone, especially before you start having sex (it is important to note that if you have already had sex its not too late to talk about it with your partner).
It’s best to talk about sex outside the bedroom before you start having sex, instead of bringing it up in the heat of the moment. Find an emotionally safe, secure, neutral place that both you and your partner are comfortable with.
Make sure to discuss what each of your likes and dislikes are. Your feelings and beliefs surrounding sex, what makes you comfortable, what makes you uncomfortable. Your fantasies, options about safer sex and pregnancy and going at pace that both you and your partner feel comfortable with.
Tips to open sexual communication:
- Be honest, open and direct
- Use “I” statements. For example say “I feel this…when you do…” instead of “You make me feel…”
- Respect your partner’s opinions
- Don’t interrupt each other
- Acknowledge that you are feeling awkward about having the conversation but that it needs to happen
- Use positive statements, do not criticize your partner or they way he or she does things
- Make talking about sex an ongoing process, the more you do it the easier it will become
If you or your partner are not comfortable talking about sex, maybe you’re not ready to have sex. Well sex can be fun and enjoyable it can also come with consequences and it’s important that you are ready to deal with all that sex can bring. Talking with your partner is the best way to protect yourself and each other. If it feels unsafe to ever talk to your partner honestly about anything to do with sexuality, then you might want to reconsider if he or she is a person you wan to be sexual with. Remember the more you talk about sex the more comfortable you will be with each other and the better the sex will be.