Coming Out
I think I might be gay, now what?
Coming to the conclusion that one might be gay/lesbian/bisexual/trans, is a process - one that varies in length for each individual. You'll know for sure when you know. There's no need to rush the process, there's lots of time. Some people know from a very young age, even if they don't know the words to describe how they feel. Others come to the conclusion in their teen years or adulthood. You don't have to have had sex with someone of the same sex to know that you're gay.
Clarifying Emotions
Almost everyone gets a crush on someone of the same sex, like a teacher or a friend's older sister/brother - someone we look up to. If you have a sexual experience with someone of the same sex (or another sex) it doesn't necessarily mean that you're gay (or sraight). Your feelings and emotional and physical attractions will tell you who you are. Listen to your heart: over time you'll find that you're drawn mostly to men or women - or to both. Don't let others pressure you to label yourself.
Coming Out of the Queer 'Closet'
Only if you want, to whom you want, and when you feel ready. Trust
yourself. Only you will know when it's the right time. Some things
to think about: Who do you think will be the most accepting? The most
non-accepting? Usually you tell the people you trust the most first.
Think about what you could lose if you tell someone - will you get
kicked out of the house? Cut off from your friends? Also think about
what you might lose if you don't tell someone - is your relationship
strained because you're keeping a secret from him or her? Would you
be closer and able to get support from them? People may be more supportive
than you think.
For some it's easy, but for many others the process in its initial stages can be painful. In a
society which often assumes that everyone both is, and ought to be, heterosexual, it is not surprising that
many people - be they young or old - have experienced difficulty in accepting their
homosexual feelings or orientation. The process of coming out can be a very lonely experience,
but remember that you're not alone: there are many understanding places that you can g to talk about your feelings.
In Saskatoon and northern Saskatchewan, a good place to call is the
Avenue Community Centre (665-1224 or 1-800-358-1833).
ACC runs support groups in both Saskatoon and Prince Albert, and has an info line where you can get
safe, anonymous support and information about coming out.
The Stages of Coming Out
- Coming to have positive feelings about one's homosexuality
- Celebration
- Sharing your sexual orientation with others close to you
- Telling the world